My family can be deemed liberal by some, orthodox by others. On one hand, you would find them agreeing and accepting things which are seen as taboos to many, on the other hand, they can be extremely traditional in certain aspects.
One of them is having sex before marriage.
Look, I have a younger sister, who is 20. However, when she was thirteen, this was what I told her.
Dear M,
As your older sister, and possibly the only one who would be able to give you a lecture, I am writing this letter to you. Yes, it is about the birds and the bees. Yes, if you did not get that analogy, it is about the three lettered S-word.
That’s right. SEX.
And no, I am not asking if you are a male or a female.
I am going to talk about the most natural thing that can happen to you, ever.
Because if our parents hadn’t had it, we would not exist.
Unless you or I were immaculate conceptions.
Judging from the way they look at each other sometimes, or hug when they think we aren’t watching, I would say, “fat chance!”
Anyway, back to the sex factor.
Now there are a lot of people who would tell you to not have sex before you get married. You know, if you ever read those romance novels, you would see the blushing heroine seduced by the dashing hero, and they have sex and then babies, and marriage is involved somewhere there.
But you know what?
Sometimes, we aren’t meant to be with one person all our life. Relationships can die a natural death, or can be severed. Sometimes, it can strengthen over time, and sometimes, it can just break. We all make and break relationships – some platonic, some erotic, and some… toxic. But in order to know what kind of relationship you are in, you will need to try it first.
That’s why I think you should do what your heart tells you to. When you feel that the time and the person is right, and yes, I am calling him/her a person because I really don’t want to choose for you – I think you should pick your match, and then do what you want to. Only thing, try avoiding doing this until you are of legal age (and your partner is too!), you know, so that we don’t have to bail you out of prison.
As for marriage? Marriage is great, and it is a choice. If you want to marry, do that. If you don’t, then don’t. But don’t confuse the two. They are two different entities and they should not be mixed. If you want to “save yourself” till you get married, great. But the right person would really not care who you have been with, because he/she will see you for who you are, with all your good, bad, ugly, fun, beautiful, flaky, creative, boring, wonderful bits, and love all of you.
Anyway, I think I said too much today.


Note: “This post is written in response to Indiblogger’s question: YES or NO to pre-marital sex, with Poonam Uppal’s True Love – A Mystical TrueLove Story on Flipkart. Check out her book today.”
Written by Poorna Banerjee

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